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Hysteria reigns in Waitrose. I’m not going out or seeing anyone tonight. It’s my least favourite night of the year.

What a curious, broken-backed year it’s been for me. Until July I was finishing my stint running the Studio at the NT; directing Honeymoon Suite for ETT at the Royal Court downstairs; directing my first opera, The Marriage of Figaro, (not entirely satisfactorily); directing Sing Yer Heart Out for the Lads in the Cottesloe and preparing Mercy for the Soho Theatre. The opera aside, it all felt like the fitting end to a whole cycle of work that I’d been involved with at the NT Studio over the past four or so years.

From July onwards, everything changed: I became used to unemployment again, went out less and less (and saw less and less of my old circle) and my good friend and colleague Andy Phillips died.There have been positive things, too, in the second half of the year: I go to the gym regularly, and, on balance, I’d count starting this blog as a positive project. I enjoyed working with the design students at Bristol, on Deborah Gearing’s play Burn for the Shell Connections scheme and most (not all) of the other small projects that happened since July. And of course the Tokyo job is starting.

I’m rather frightened about directing in Japan, but then I always get frightened at this point.

In the wider world, I am more convinced than ever that climate change is the elephant in the living room we’re all busy ignoring. It also seems clearer than ever that two words which routinely get bandied about at this time of year are widely and profoundly misunderstood: Peace and Freedom. They have been drained of meaning by their lazy overuse, dangerously sharp and potent concepts reduced to kitsch cliché.

Richard seems to like the introduction to his plays, so that’s a relief.

Wonderful letter by Dr Claire Cochrane, the Birmingham Rep’s historian, in The Guardian about Behzti. Again, she describes the play I read well.

After a nice lunch with Robin Hooper, I came home and (finally) finished the first draft of the introduction to Richard Bean’s plays for Oberon Books. I’ve just emailed it to him. It’s like painting someone’s portrait. Will they recognise themselves? Worse, actually – it’s like painting their children.

I’m afraid that this report from the front rings true. Yasmin Wilde was in the production and talks about the exact nature of the consultation which took place before the play went on. I suspect her analysis is all too accurate. She certainly speaks well about the play that I read. “The message of the play isn’t ‘isn’t religion awful’. It’s about how human frailty can take you away from what’s true about your religion.” Exactly. And about the self-policing nature of an enclosed minority: “It’s about not allowing the outside to police you. In small communities you often get self-policing. That’s one of the problems of being in a minority community. There are no whistleblowers. It’s interesting that that theme has crossed over into real life”.

The piece once again confirms my belief that the police (and by extension their employers, the Government) were at fault in putting the Rep in the position of having to make the decision. Having done so, the theatre had no choice. “The police were very supportive without taking sides”. This is ridiculous.

I am continuing work on the design of Democracy by email through Hiroyo to Yukio*, the designer. It must be as odd for him as it is for me. We are getting there I think. One of the unusual parts of the situation is that there is no pressure for finalised plans until after we start rehearsals. We are still working on a large rectangular floating platform, bisected by glass panels.

[*How familiar, in a terribly Western way, that use of his first name at this stage. Since then of course I have called him, and referred to him, always as Horio-san. pm 10/10/06]

There is the possibility of the play going to the Court in the new year, which is obviously very good news.

Or not? Whatsonstage says it’s very unlikely. Rather confusing.

Stephen Unwin emailed me this, which I think is spot-on:

The real issue (Behzti) is law and order, not censorship or freedom of expression. If instead of a theatre, it had been a bank or an embassy, or even a national newspaper, that was being besieged, the police would have deployed in sufficient numbers and the right to operate legally would have been protected at all costs. The Home Office has been busy in recent days, but the new Home Secretary should have taken responsibility, rather than letting Estelle Morris dangle in the wind. What happened showed just how relative the ‘war on terror’ actually is.

Quite right. And Nick Hytner puts it well, too (from the Guardian website):

“The western theatre was invented in Athens to put on stage feelings which were too dangerous to express in real life. Those feelings are exorcised through the theatre. The giving of offence is part of our business. The feelings that Macbeth provokes are in part extraordinarily offensive, and that is why we go to see it and enjoy it.”

I’m very glad to read that there is a movement to support Gurpreet Bhatti’s play, possibly by a series of playreadings in January (just when I shall be away of course).This is typical of the comments on the Rep’s website and of the emails I have received (no name was on the email)*:

“i have read your message you’ve sent to the rep, and i think you have no experiences to back your case. you have no idea what sikhism is about and if you did you would not be backing this play.

the play show a complete fictional veiw on what and who sikhs really are. when someone writes contraversion things, im not saying its a bad thing but, when its talking about religion and mocking the sikh code of conduct it really can upset many people who believe in that practice, so if you think about that and possibly take in that in to account why the sikhs took such measures to prevent the play then you will become more wiser.”

[*at this stage of the blog I had my email address on my profile...]

Well. I had left Jonathan Church (artistic director of Birmingham Rep) a message on Sunday in a comradely fashion to say courage mon brave. He rang back today very sweetly to say thanks, but it hadn’t worked out like that. I know I’ve said it before but I do sympathise. It’s all very well in a TV studio or on a website to say that one might have done things differently, but it’s quite different on the ground.

I emailed Nick Hytner to say that perhaps the NT could take the show under it’s wing in some way. It was a singularly impertinent request on my part and one that I can’t quite see how he would be able to fulfill. A flight of fancy on my part really. But I do feel very strongly about this.

Had a bit of a long night out after the reading. James took us all out for a lovely Chinese meal in China-town. I sat next to Simon Bent and Tom Sutcliffe (the opera critic).

I then went on to Dylan Brown’s party at the St Moritz Club in Soho. I saw a lot of the actors I had worked with some years ago: John Simm, Stuart Laing, Andy Lincoln again, Neil Stuke etc. It was really incredibly heartening. What a phenomenal time we had on those plays and what a long time ago it seems.

I left early because I felt like the geography teacher at the sixth form disco. Up the street though, I bumped into Andrew Fallaize and Grant Gillespie. We decided to go to the Arts Club. It was actually a good decision. A good time was had. By all.

Well I have just got back in after the rehearsal for James Hogan’s playreading tomorrow (plus a Soho escapade, about which more shortly). The news about the cancellation of the play at Birmingham entered the room quickly in the afternoon because Oberon books publishes it (James Hogan runs Oberon).

I have to say that I am very very sorry that Birmingham Rep have cancelled the play. I quite understand that it must be very difficult there, and it’s one of those moral moments that I think we all fear – how will we actually act? I like to think that I would have strength to do the right thing, but you never know, do you? That sounds strong, but I mean what I say. In other words, if I was in the position of the people running the Rep, I’m not really sure I would have the guts. Bill Gaskill of course was actually arrested and tried for putting on Saved and Early Morning. I can’t honestly say that I would have the nerve. So I hugely sympathise with Jonathan Church and the Executive Director Stuart Rogers. Nonetheless it is profoundly regrettable.

There is no doubt that this is a terrible terrible day for the European liberal tradition of free speech. The BBC website has plenty of liberal comment, but even there there’s plenty of ‘we believe in free speech but…’ (Blogging fans might note that Dominic Dromgoole echoes the points made here about O’Casey – some 24 hours after the event.)

Profoundly depressing. And with long term consequences.